this might be sound soo weird, i want to make some changes in me, i wanna be more mature, i don't know why this idea suddenly crashed into me, but, i want to be less of me, i won't able to get rid of me, i love the old me, but, this, is not working to my next life, everybody always said,"how can you be a doctor? if u like 'this'?" well, i'm not taking those opinions seriously, until, i meet her, well, we've known each other a LONG time, since i was 6 or whatsoever, but, this time, we actually have a REAL talk, she's not lecturing me or anything like that, her appearance making me want to change, she's the same age with me, but, she's so mature, i think she's too soon to have her own thought, u know what i mean? it's like she's so thinking what she shud do after, hmm, how can i explain, yea, just like that.. it's so hard to explain... every jokes that i made, it's not working on her, it's just she made want to learn from her, and to be more mature.. it's driving me crazy, but, i think, that's what i need for now, to face my future, and to be serious, what i'm into... my grade, isn't doing so well, i've got to be serious for it.... this is my important path, my parents have faith in me, i can't make 'em disappointed. after i see the anatomy, pathology, and embryo's books. it's making want to be MORE serious to study.